Q: I am very shy. When I am with a group of people, it is hard for me to open up and express my opinions. Sometimes I can’t even think of what to say. What can I do?


A: First of all remember that being shy is not an illness; nor does it make you weird. The only thing is you have an introverted personality that you wish to change.

Let us first understand what shyness it: shyness is an emotion that impacts the way in which a person feels and behaves. Shyness may make some people uncomfortable, intimidates, fearful, nervous, or insecure in the company of others. Shyness can also be accompanied by bodily sensations, such as blushing, trembling, becoming speechless or breathless.

The main characteristic of shyness is that it develops in childhood and manifests itself more clearly during adolescence. Childhood plays an important role in the development of a shy personality.
Children who are overprotected by their parents or guardians; those who have received a rigid upbringing;  those who have a problem relating to their own parents; those who have suffered abuse or have been exposed to ridicule, are much more likely to develop a shy personality.

The shy personality could lessen upon reaching maturity, although it could also happen that it never disappears and even that it becomes a social phobia.

As I indicated above, shyness is a behavior that can be modified. Here are some suggestions that might help you:
•    Being aware of the problem of shyness and recognizing it is the first step to improve and change. Do not hesitate to speak about it with other people and see how it affects you. That will help you to understand yourself better.

•    Do not close yourself in. Try to go out, relate to people and break the routine.

•    When you are in disagreement with something or someone, try to express it and you will see how little by little you will be more confident.

•    Set goals for yourself and try to carry them out. For instance, if you are embarrassed to speak to a classmate, set yourself a goal to speak to him or her as soon as possible, and do it. You will see that you feel better every time you take a step to overcome shyness.

•    Accept yourself just as you are. Love yourself. Value your good things. Respect yourself and in that way others will do it to.

•    Do not encumber other people in your mind thinking they are more intelligent or expressive. You too, can be that. You only need to overcome your shyness to demonstrate it to yourself and others.

Remember that overcoming shyness requires practice. Do not grow discouraged! God wants us to be happy. This is our task as Christians. Think that, if God wants you to be happy, he gives you the means to achieve it.

 

Comments:

11 Feb13:37

Is it hard to overcome

By Gabriela

Is it hard to overcome shyness when you are a teenager?

11 Feb12:44

Is it hard to overcome

By Gabriela

Is it hard to overcome shyness when you are a teenager? When been shy it’s horrible especially when you have teachers that like to pick on you a lot. It can be hard when you are not in your comfort zone.

27 Oct09:22

To tell you the truth the way

By TK

To tell you the truth the way I got rid of my Shyness is by being on stage. I love performing and I was really shy about everything even that but I got on that stage and sang my heart out and I got over it and now I am not shy to do anything I would like to do or wouldn't really want to do but do it anyway because it's right or fun or just something that needs to be done. No more shyness from me :D

 

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