By Crystal Catalan

I remember attending a mass, where the priest quoted Pedro Arrupe, SJ, “What you are in love with…will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning….what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” I sat in the pew, and began to ask myself, “Crystal, what gets you up every morning? What makes you feel most alive? Are you in love with your life?” I realized the answer to the final question, was no. I was not. Rather, what I did fall in love with was service and ministry, as reflected in my consecutive summers spent with impoverished children in the Philippines.

Well, what makes someone literally leave everything behind, pack up his or her bags, and journey to a place to serve and minister? For me, it was, the “Call.” As abstract and intangible as that sounds, it truly was this feeling that had grown inside of me, stronger and stronger each day, to the point where I felt that I would be depriving myself if I did not move in that faith-filled direction.

There are the initial challenges, of realizing what this decision would really mean, in terms of change. Transition, transition, transition. Perhaps adjusting geographically, leaving family, close friends and all that is familiar, but then there are the transitions that are experienced psychologically, structurally (especially when operating in cross-cultural systems) and also, spiritually. The spirit of God is revealed often in very surprising ways on mission. Amidst these anticipated difficulties and challenges, the joys and graces are vast and numerous.

For me, the “God of surprises” is revealed even more fully with every sense when I am on mission. Every day, I feel “sent out” to be God’s hands and feet, not knowing who I will encounter that day, and what new experiences I will have. That is the joy, there lies the grace. There is a profound joy I experience, simply by being with others – not as a job, but as a desire to be present with.

I have always been advised by my spiritual director, that ministry lies strong in intention - what are my intentions when I am in prison ministry? What are my intentions when I am leading the children in song? As a missioner with Cabrini Mission Corps, my intentions are to “bear the love of Christ in the world.” And that was my joy, and ultimately, that translated into becoming my ministry. My ministry met my joy, and vice versa. I longed to find that meeting place.

Leaving behind all things familiar seems pretty drastic. Well, it can be – and yes, indeed, it is a risk. Varying from not knowing who will greet you at the airport, where you will be sleeping, what new foods you will be eating, who your community will be, and the lists go on. But the gift begins to unwrap itself as soon as the “Call” is realized, and before I knew it, I found that the risk was worth taking, and right on time. In God’s perfect time.