An engagement period is essential to building a healthy marriage and family. Many marriages fail because they didn’t have an appropriate engagement period and the relationship was essentially built on sand. In other words, the relationship was cultivated on erroneous elements.

An engagement is the relationship between a young man and woman, who consider that they have the essential elements to know each other more intimately and consider building a family together. A successful engagement rests on the fact that after a prudent period of time, the bride and groom can attain clarity as to whether or not they can unite forever in a loving marriage.

In our current world young people often live in loneliness and suffer from a lack of affection. It leads them to seek love in order to fill their void and loneliness. They believe that a boyfriend or girlfriend can help solve most of their problems. They think that by having a partner it will resolve all their affective problems. Their anxiety is more about feeling loved, than loving and sharing a project. In this process of searching for a companion or spouse, many young people are seeking a father or mother figure, who is made to their liking, and responds to their current emotional needs and the desire for protection.

A major problem in relationships has to do with the perception that the significant other is an object to be used as needed, as long as he or she responds to our needs. Selfishness is emphasized; the person underrates him or herself while undervaluing the other person.

In an engagement it is important to maintain the individuality of both. Each person in the relationship brings the best in him or her, contributing to the personal fulfillment of the other, but without a fusion. It is a love that just by knowing the significant other exists, is enough to get us up every morning to embark on our journey.  True love has an implicit invitation to be shared with others and it not limited to the couple, but is extended to the needy in our society. It is not about confusing emotion for human values. Engagement is about love and love always comes from God. Therefore, nothing contrary to love and the project of God’s happiness for human beings can be valid.

It is therefore important to choose your partner well. It is not first and foremost about external beauty, because this is fleeting. What is important is inner beauty. This is not an adventure but a call from God to experience love in its human and Christian dimension.

The following questions could help you to start a good relationship:
•    Does he/she attract me physically?
•    Do I want to commit myself to this person and become co-responsible for his/her life?
•    Does he/she share my ideals for life?
•    Could I love this person forever and remain faithful to him/her?
•    Can I imagine this person as part of my family?
•    As a friend of my friends?
•    My sexual partner?
•    The father or mother of my children?
•    My support at difficult times?
•    Sharing my life, time, intimacy, and my faith?
•    As my wife or husband?